Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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