he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
They are going to name an STD after you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
