would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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