I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
