I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
PANTIES FOUND
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