someone get that fucking seahorse.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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