So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
