I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
