He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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