when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Your tits are I can't wait for
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
