I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize