but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
