his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Do vagina's smell?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
