I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
