i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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