When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Everclear isn't food dammit
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
there is glitter all over my balls
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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