I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
