oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
