dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
