His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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