All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
