Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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