I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
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