do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
