Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
