I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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