Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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