The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
