woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
