If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
