Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Come on in and take your pants off
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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