Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
