Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.

Fav 14 2297 906
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(480): View more from Arizona

So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.

Fav 12 1368 2550
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(210): View more from Texas

"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"

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(623): View more from Arizona

Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.

Fav 42 1220 6574
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.

Fav 29 11659 1236
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(913): View more from Kansas

Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..

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(904): View more from Florida

Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Is this because I accidentally peed on you?

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(208): View more from Idaho

She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state

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