You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Drunk is not a location!
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
