Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
