turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
