Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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