real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
