It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm eating all of the evidence.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
