This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
