ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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