I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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