Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
