she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
they're like a gay fantastic four
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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