she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
someone owes me an orgasm
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
