I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
