no, he came in my armpit
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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