I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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