there's paper in my vomit.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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