he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Randomize
