I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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