she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
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