i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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