is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
