Tell her she can't have a vagina
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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