You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
