it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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