dude i'm inner monologue high
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
