hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
