she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize