she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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