HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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